The Girl With The Striped Socks

“CBS MoneyWatch recently published what they called the “20 Craziest Job Interview Questions.”  The questions, they claimed, were real job interview questions that “such companies as Google, Capital One, and Goldman Sachs asked internship candidates.” Our writer Giles Turnbull could do with a proper job, so we assigned him all 20 questions to see how he’d fare in the global marketplace. Headhunters, contact us for his direct line.”

This is possibly the best thing I’ve read on the interwebz all week. A sampling: 

UBS: If we were playing Russian roulette and had one bullet, I randomly spun the chamber and fired but nothing was fired. Would you rather fire the gun again or respin the chamber and then fire on your turn?

I’d rather get the fuck out of your office and run away very fast. What the hell are you people on? Haven’t you heard of email? Or official dispute procedures? Jesus.

Merrill Lynch: Tell me about your life from kindergarten onwards.

Well I sort of went to school, then I went to college, then I had a dozen crappy dead-end jobs to make ends meet. I wasted my money on alcohol, drugs, gadgets, and pointless leisure activities. I tried settling down a couple of times but we couldn’t make it work, then afterward I usually spent six months in a haze of self-doubt and did lots of crying to myself on the couch in the evenings. There was a spell when I moved back in with my parents, partly because I couldn’t afford to live anywhere else and partly because the judge said I had to. When that was over, I drifted a bit. I have nothing meaningful to show for my time on this Earth so far, but I do own a pretty nice phone and a pair of incredibly expensive running shoes.